POEM
GRUELRY
Esmerelda Griselda McMaggot O'Toole
Was known far and wide for her Vile Varmint Gruel
The recipe came from her dear mother's mudder
and had to be cooked in a moldy cow's udder.
The recipe called for some frightening things
Like bug legs and frog parts and dragonfly wings
The hair of a spider and ooze from a newt
Some seaweed and moss bits and snake drool to boot.
Then grasshopper juice and a beetle's old shell
It all went in the pot and got mixed very well
She seasoned it all with some nose hairs and pus
And topped it all off with a light flaky crust.
Old Ezzie was famous, and so was her stew
and many folks came for a bowl and some brew
But those poor hapless creatures she used in her gruel
Were tortured and injured, Esmerelda was cruel.
She pulled off their legs and she poked out their eyes
She squished and she smashed them, ignoring their cries
But some critters remained after all her tomfoolery
So Ezzie decided to make some fine jewelry.
The necklace she made, it was ghastly and awful
(And, I should tell you, completely unlawful)
But on that day somebody saw her behavior
and vowed to become the sad animals' savior.
A wizard was he, and he dreamed up a hex
To make Ezzie pay for that thing on her neck
He raised up his wand and he uttered these words:
" Zollyhummus Karviggory Raptimus Zurds!"
And Ezzie's head wiggled, it began to get smaller,
Her eyeballs got bulgy and she started to holler
Ezzie moaned and she groaned and she jumped up and down
Then her head made a "CRACK" and it fell on the ground.
The wizard just smiled his wizardy grin
'Cause he knew Esmerelda had paid for her sin
He picked up her head and said "Rippity Zoo,"
And put her head here on this necklace for you.
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