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Robert
De Luccia from Ridgewood, New Jersey
Winner
GET OUTSIDE
After downing a six pack of mead
I lost my good taste and my creed,
Made something both kitschy and reckless,
A punky pink Techno-Goth necklace.
With bone skuls and cheesy rose beads,
Glass and feathers completed my needs.
Then the alcohol prompted my brain
To add gears and a bicycle chain.
Not a problem -- It still looked just fine,
'Til Rusalka swung in on a vine.
At this point the whole thing got creepy,
Did I mention the mead made me sleepy?
*
Rusalka
According to East-Slavic folklore, a
Rusalka is a water spirit or water nymph.
They are the souls of young women or girls
who died an unnatural or violent death. If
the girl was murdered in or close to a lake,
she would become a Rusalka and inhabit
that particular lake
Clasp Assembly: Padlock with a key dangling from a chain
Dollar Value: $300.00
Adjusted Judges Score: 7 out of 7
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Bonnie Anderson from Kennesaw, Georgia
Runner-Up
Clasp Assembly: The troll is the clasp. One end of necklace
string is tied into a loop and wraps around the left hand of the troll.
The other end of the necklace string is tied into a loop and wraps around
the right hand of the troll. The two hands of the troll push apart to
open up.
Dollar Value: $100.00
Adjusted Judges Score: 5 out of 7
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Alison Sheafor from Arlington, Washington
Semi-Finalist
Our
Kitchen Embodied in a Necklace
-- sung loosely to the tune "My Favorite Things"
So many
dishes and
Two soaps for washing.
Exotic beer labels
Sit in recycling.
Lint balls float in from the
Old laundry room.
These are a few of my favorite things.
Coffee
from breakfast and
Peppers for spicing.
Burrs in the dog's coat and
Christmas still lurking.
Cat toys in corners and
Hair in my food.
These are a few of my favorite things.
Handmade clear borosilicate beads with objects inside, and strung on
either leather or wire, depending on where it fits within the piece.
Clasp Assembly: A very weighty piece with a
somewhat precarious closure! Bulldog clip holds together the two ends
of the leather cord.
Dollar Value: $450.00
Adjusted Judges Score: 6 out of 7
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Noel Yovovich from Evanston, Illinois
Semi-Finalist
Ode
to an Ugly Effort
In the
place I often teach,
There sits a cardboard box
Containing things that no one wants
From beads to bling to rocks.
On Mardi
Gras I found myself
Pondering the Ugly Challenge.
Was contravening all the rules
A thing that I could manage?
The
urge to order is quite strong --
There are those who call me "anal".
So could I make an ugly thing
And chance I'd just be banal?
Clasp Assembly: Tied into a knot
Dollar Value: $37.22
Adjusted Judges Score: 6 out of 7
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Vivian Lehman from Griffin, Georgia
Semi-Finalist
Feminine
Circle
(View necklace from wearer's left to right)
Born in stardust,
love, and flowers,
We are led to develop our powers,
Leaving our splash of color around,
Knowing someday we will be in the ground.
And again the magnetic circle goes around.
Clasp Assembly: Three magnetic clasps
Dollar Value: $65.00
Adjusted Judges Score: 5 out of 7
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Nancy Rundhammer from Apex, North Carolina
Semi-Finalist
Gluttonous
Relation
With
this necklace,
She declares,
"I am reckless, wild and rare!
Let me wear this for all to stare."
Filled
with BBQ, Fries and pop,
I just love my fatty aphrodisiac.
It is better when it's super sized,
A Biggie can be no better when she's oversized!
Covered
with reminders of my quest,
I yearn to wear these jewels upon my chest!
Beads and baubles made of sugar,
Always carry me through in times of need.
I
must display my gluttonous ways,
So that you know my true desires.
I love the fat, the grease and calories,
It suits me fine, just pass the butter!
Clasp Assembly: A gummy hot dog closes into a candy gummy bun for
the clasp assembly.
Dollar Value: $25.00
Adjusted Judges Score: 5 out of 7
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Kate Reeve from Waitsburg, Washington
Semi-Finalist
U.B.M.
(ugly bagamuffin mojo)
Snorrel under
the Scottsbroom bush
Rip van oleman dreampt colorful longly
of the one true differing gift to give
--
aha -- a bagamuffin for his frumpy
lady!
It was brightly
raggedy and heavily beady,
Silken lining mirrored in holes from insideout,
it had frilly long fringes and was handy.
Behind it, it left a long trail of
stuff.
That shadow-like
kept falling from it: silky wisps lints
seedy beads shell chips and glitter feathery
hurls --
It made itself ever-changey
and evolving thus she ever grew.
--
Love, Rip
Operating Manual, p. 2
Clasp Assembly: There is an elaborate strap, zipper, and suspender
toggles system as the clasp assembly. With different configurations
of parts, the necklace may be worn as a choker, a back pack, a wrap,
a fanny pack, a clutch, or a traditional over-the-shoulder and around
the neck necklace.
Dollar Value: $35.00
Adjusted Judges Score: 6 out of 7
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Front
Gay
Tracy and Maxine Farkas from Lowell, Massachusetts
Semi-Finalists
Back
Oscar
Night
T'was
Oscar night
And waiting her turn
To walk the red carpet
Stood an actress named Ferne.
She
was poor
And could not afford
Diamonds and rubies
With her man she was bored.
With
him she knew
She could never go far
Because he made her
Smell like his cigar.
So
she created her necklace
To catch all eyes
And help disguise
The size of her thighs.
Clasp
Assembly: Beads through coat sleeves adjust easily.
To open the clasp, undo the button on the coat. The size of the necklace
can be adjusted by pulling the beads through the sleeves of the coat
with or without undoing the botton on the coat.
Dollar Value: $15.00
Adjusted Judges Score: 6 out of 7
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Amanda Tarras
from Sturgeon Bay, Wisconsin
Semi-Finalist
Deformed Decoration
A little bit of this,
How about a tad of that?
Oh, the fuzz from Dan's belly button,
Two brass bells even sound ugly when you move it,
I should send you an audiotape just to prove it.
The final touch could be
Crushing the thing by driving my car,
That might be taking it a step too far.
Clasp Assembly: Spring Ring with Telephone Wire Loop
Dollar Value: $2.00 (it is that ugly)
Adjusted Judges Score: 5 out of 7
Go
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Julie Schlueter
from Orange, California
Semi-Finalist
POEM
- Haiku
Beautiful woman
so exquisitely adorned,
at sunrise we fish.
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Clasp Assembly: No clasp. Necklace goes over the head.
Dollar Value: $10.00
Adjusted Judges Score: 4 out of 7
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Neal Trickel, Monroe, Wisconsin
A western necklace I wanted to make
Some old stray bullets I did take
A length of wire available to fill
I made the holes with my electric drill
To my relief there was no bang!
Around my neck it was to hang
I strung it all together with pride
Rejoicing that I had not died.
Clasp Assembly: Rawhide tied into a knot
Dollar Value: not given
Adjusted Judges Score: 1 out of 7
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Alice Smith, Tiffin, Ohio
You see --
snow is falling,
Christmas is calling,
Like most I wait eagerly for this day,
But unlike others, it's the day my brother should pray
I receive a collection of jewelry made to perfection,
as for him I give the dog a trim...
A smirk raised my right cheek as I opened the box and stole my last
peek,
Placing it under my arm wrapped nice and neat dressed in a bow to make
it complete,
Exchanging our gifts made with love and a laugh,
closed my eyes, and made a gasp,
what a georgous....jewelry....contraption he had made with such beauty
and attraction
a heart necklace and earring set plastered with fingernails of every
kind,
Why, a few black ones may have been crossing the line,
Alas, I wore my jewelry and he in his dog hair wig, Christmas time
had come once again
SOOOOOOOOO,
Clip en and Ship em directly to me!
Polish and toejam adds natural beauty!
Clasp Assembly: Spring Ring
Dollar Value: A family heirloom with absolutely no value
Adjusted Judges Score: 1 out of 7
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Claudia Randall, Lawrenceburg, Indiana
Ode to the 60's Necklace
Dangle, Clangle
Groovie and Bright.
San Francisco to Mexico
Day into Out 'o
Sight.
The Sixties are best
off my ears
and onto my chest.
Clasp Assembly: Toggle Clasp
Dollar Value: Not given
Adjusted Judges Score: 1 out of 7
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Peace Roan, Temple City, California
Eons before eons all life on earth
Looked to the seas to meet all their needs.
This done, the seas threw up its jewels.
Jewels of majesty, mastery and mystery
Sought by all to adorn with precious
Shells, pearls, agates, stones of all
manner which brought ideas for great jewels
And all came to gaze quizzically at their seas
And its gifts.
Clasp Assembly: Hook and Eye clasp hand-fashioned from heavy gauge wire
Dollar value: $275.00
Adjusted Judges Score: 4 out of 7
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Mary Reilly, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
The Ugly, Yet Extensively Pretentious Necklace
The Embodiment of Sarcasm,
Pretension, and Poor Taste.
If Someone Buys This Necklace,
My Upbringing Was Surely a Waste...
My promise to You:
A) The judges will Faint, upon viewing my entry.
B) It will be "UGLIER" than Pittsburgh.
C) It consists of beads having UGLY history.
D) You will NEVER contact me, Mary Reilly, to design your personal
showpiece
E) I, Mary Reilly, am not ugly -- in mind or body.
signed Mary
Clasp Assembly: Fancy hook and eye clasp
Dollar Value: $276.00
(truthfully "vintage" resin beads and vintage fire polish Czech faceted
beads)
Adjusted Judges Score: 1 out of 7
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Mattie Paul, Houston, Texas
My Ugly Necklace
I opened the new dress and what did I see,
A red fish necklace staring up at me,
A fisherman had not seen such red fishes,
Even when served with catsup on dishes,
Please help, a new one is my great plea!
Clasp Assembly: No clasp
Dollar Value: I do not know the dollar value of necklace as it came
as a gift with a suit
Adjusted Judges Score: 1 out of 7
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Janet Morgan, Rawlings, Maryland
A little of this, and a little of that,
beads and reed, and a piece of my hat!
Clasp Assembly: Lobster Claw
Dollar Value: $10.00
Adjusted Judges Score: 1 out of 7
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