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WINNER!
Sandy
Borglum
Chicago, Illinois
"The Purple Eyesore of Texas"
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The
Purple Eyesore of Texas
Sung to "The Yellow Rose of
Texas"
There's
a Purple Eyesore in Texas that no one should ever wear2.
Nobody could miss it, it screams out "I am here!"
They'd cry so if they wore it, their moans would break your heart,
And if I hadn't worked so hard I might take it apart.
It's
the ugliest Purple Eyesore that Texas ever saw;
Plastic beads, eyelash yarn, a bandana snugged up to the jaw.
The bandana is the fastener -- the "clasp", if you need to
know;
This way it fits on every neck with a knot that'll never show.
A
large-linked golden curtain chain is the "base" t'which all's
attached,
Sewn on to the bandana -- it's sturdier than a latch.
There's a package bow on the left side, to mimic a Yellow Rose.
It's attached to the purple bandana, stapled right under your nose.
...
poem
& profile continues
Clasp Assembly:
Bandana Tied into a Knot
Dollar Value: $500.00
Adjusted Judges Score: 6 out of 7
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RUNNER-UP!
Lynn
Margaret Davy
Wimborne, Dorset, United Kingdom
"Wrinkling"
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POEM
Wrinkling
When
I am an old beader I shall be purple
With a red and brown and blue scattering of moles and veins and liver
spots
And I shall spend my pension on rocailles and buttons
And lampwork glass, and say I've no money for thread
I shall wonder why just picking up a needle makes me tired
And why my beadwork and my body are coming apart at the seams
And how on earth I ever managed to travel and laugh and dance all night
In the brightly lit drunken excesses of my youth.
I shall stay indoors when it's raining
And stitch flowers from other people's unwanted beads
And learn to knit.
...
poem
& profile continues
Clasp Assembly:
There are many clasps, including this button-toggle clasp above or the
human leg/toggle clasp below, along the necklace, so that you can wear
it in different ways,
or recreate the overall look. Each of the many necklace segments begins
and ends with some kind of clasp assembly.
Dollar Value: $67.03
Adjusted Judges Score: 6 out of 7
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Kimberly
Allison
Escondido, California
"The Ugliest Necklace. Period."
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Go
With The Flow
It
began one day when I was thirteen,
In those days so well begone
That I developed that hateful dependency
On that dreaded thing: the tampon.
Remember
those days? The ones so care-free?
Before "Aunt Ruby" came for her stay?
Our innocent lives were turned upside down
by a biological D-Day. ...
poem
& profile continues
Clasp Assembly:
Toggle made from a rolled-up chocolate candy box, and a string loop
Dollar Value: $37.25
Adjusted Judges Score: 6 out of 7
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Alesia
DiFederico
Southbury, Connecticut
"Super Duper Purple Pooper Scooper"
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Super
Duper Purple Pooper Scooper
The
inescapable chore
That does become such a bore
Kitty box filled with poops galore!
Every
time I turn around
More poopers seem to abound
My
cats I absolutely adore
The poops I honestly abhor
Among
my beading stash
Wicked kitties love to crash ...
poem
& profile continues
Clasp Assembly:
Safety breakaway kitty collar clasp
Dollar Value: $15.00
Adjusted Judges Score: 5 out of 7
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Sharon
Wagner
Sterling Heights, Michigan
"Round and Round"
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Round
and Round
The
Earth goes...
The Clock goes...
The TV goes...
The Electricity goes...
The Cable goes...
The Cord goes...
The Connector goes...
The Ideas go...
The Plan goes...
The Purple goes...
The Thread goes...
The Beads go...
And I go...
Round and round
So the Ugly grows.
Whew! It's done!
poem
& profile continues
Clasp Assembly:
Coaxial cable adapter
Dollar Value: $300.00
Adjusted Judges Score: 5 out of 7
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Deborah
Eve Rubin
Rockville, Maryland
"The Colors of Purple"
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The
Colors of Purple
I've
finally seen the purple cow
Her
polka dots are oh so wow!
Then
I went thru my boxes, my bags and my bins,
And
took out everything purple within.
I
beaded and sewed and I wired and glued,
Till
something resembling a necklace ensued.
Please
judge just my necklace and not this wretched poem,
All
I really want to do is unclutter my home.
poem
& profile continues
Clasp Assembly: Lanyard Clasp
Dollar Value: unstated
Adjusted Judges Score: 5 out of 7
Go
Vote and Evalute This Necklace!
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Bonnie
Scherer
Palmer, Alaska
"Drinking Girl's Necklace: The Grapes of Wrath"
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Drinking
Girl's Necklace:
The Grapes of Wrath
When
I drink I think I am witty so I want yet another sip;
I reach to the closure of my necklace to produce an "ah-so",
how hip!
A bottle of wine, a sip of champagne,
In no time at all I'm feeling insane!
My
eyes are all blurry and nothing's in focus,
I'll captivate your heart with my hocus-pocus.
I'm feeling off-center, not quite in balance,
My arrangement of corks is but one of my talents! ...
poem
& profile continues
Clasp Assembly:
Wine Bottle Opener as Box Clasp
Dollar Value:
$300.00
Adjusted Judges Score: 5 out of 7
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Jane
W. West
Pelham, Alabama
"What Can I Make Today?"
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What
Can I Make Today?
Lost
in thought
With beads I just bought;
Bugs
on the brain
Ideas driving me insane;
Could
make this
Could make that;
So
many beads
Just gotta proceed;
I'll
put this here
Wire that there;
What
can I make today?
Ugly Necklace...
What do you say?
poem
& profile continues
Clasp Assembly:
Two interlocking lanyard clasps
Dollar Value:
$150.00
Adjusted Judges Score: 5 out of 7
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Beth
Brickhouse
Kill Devil Hills, NC
I awakened this morning,
With but one mission.
A Necklace to make,
Ugly enough to create.
But my husband wanted me to go fishin.
So I thought of it all,
The fishing and beading.
And said "I'll do both.
I'll bring just what I'm needing";
A necklace so ugly, so purple and pure,
It will have to win the contest,
Of that I am sure.
Well, while we were fishing
I realized what was missing,
So the lures became beads.
They met all of my needs.
And then for a pendant,
I really must say
I decided to attach
THE CATCH OF THE DAY!!!!!
Clasp Assembly:
Toggle Clasp
Dollar Value:
$25.00
Adjusted Judges Score: 3 out of 7
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Jolynn Casto
Logan, OH
Frantic Finish
It comes around once a year at Land of Odds
The deadline is drawing near for the contest i've come to hold so dear.
I dig around in all my stash
To put together a piece of trash.
Purple beads and other stuff
I hope I have enough.
I bettery get my butt in gear
That deadline is drawing nearer and neaer.
Maybe glue would be faster
OH! What a disaster
Purple used to be my favorite color
This is so ugly
I think I will pick another.
In my distress of the time limit
I finally have a finished mess
To enter in the Ugly Necklace Contest.
Clasp Assembly:
Lobster Claw
Dollar Value:
$200.00
Adjusted Judges Score: 3 out of 7
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Tess Daniels
Deer Isle, ME
Purple Consolation
Gleaming purple beads
Bring small bird ecstacy
Prisoner though he is.
Clasp Assembly:
Toggle made from large bead and loop covered with small beads
Dollar Value:
$225.00
Adjusted Judges Score: 3 out of 7
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Juli
Brown
Wells, MN
A Purple People Eater
An artist's old trick is "ROY G. BIV",
Remember the name as long as you live,
Used when the brain's more like a sierve.
A rainbow's ribbon, its shades are seven,
The banners of colors hang in the heavens,
Seven, seven, come eleven!
Red, Orange, Yellow, Green,
Blue, Indigo, and Violet supreme,
Recall their order sight unseen!
Beautiful beads, wire and ribbon,
Wretched, deranged and design now hidden,
Piercing, sharp, a spiteful Gibbon!
Take much care when you slip this one on,
For wicked tangles in your hair you'll don,
"Ouch! It snagged my sweater!", cried Fawn.
Pretty ugly, mod, mauve, "Gaud"
Poor beloved Royal Purple feels fraud,
In its disgrace in being purposely flawed.
Clasp Assembly:
Handcrafted wire hook/eye get-up
Dollar Value:
Not given
Adjusted Judges Score: 2 out of 7
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Ruby
Joy Gino
Tarzana, CA
RUSTY'S GARDEN
The parts that no-thing wanted
Just because they were old and rusted,
came off loose from some old stuff,
worn out, unclean and rough...
decided to reside in my old messy garage,
shoved in a corner, all dusty and forgotten,
as if hinting me to form a collage.
One day, i felt my ideas fatten,
with bolts, metal sheets, and old rusty handles...
how strange, coz these were unconventional and ugly,
no one would ever think of, not even a hint.
The form i found then had me thinking...
Hmmmm, how about some wire, my dog's old chain to get them linking,
This may sound crazy to that effect,
i even gave it a name
It old Rusty....Rusty's Garden, what do you expect!
Clasp Assembly:
Keyring/Ring Configuration
Dollar Value:
$35.00
Adjusted Judges Score: 2 out of 7
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Elaine Hammer
Fruit Heights, UT
Cleaned the Kids Room Last Night
I cleaned the kid's room last night.
What a disgusting sight.
there was string, leather, toys & beads.
Everything a kid collects & thinks she needs.
I decided to put them all on as string.
To clean up the clutter & everything.
Maybe from this mess I can make something nice.
Instead came up with this Ugly device.
There was doll with an guly face.
A spider that should not be in the place.
A bunny laying on it's back>
Just all kinds of brick-a-brac
With an ugly man standing on a Dragon.
When I saw him I started a gaggin.
He was acting like a muscle man.
Imagine that if you can.
Then there were beads of an ugly yellow.
That fitted just right iwth that ugly fellow.
Next there was a cute little guy.
Then some feathered critter no one should buy.
An alligator clip for a clasp.
I'll glue a dragon head on it that will make her gasp.
So I made this necklace for the kid to wear.
In hopes it would give her a terrible scare.
So it would embarrass her & make her want to keep her room clean.
But her only exclamation was [how cool, how keen].
So this is my luck.
I'm stuck with ridiculous this muck.
Clasp Assembly:
Alligator clip glued into bone bead, then glued to toy dragon head that
clips onto metal ring
Dollar Value:
$75.00
Adjusted Judges Score: 3 out of 7
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