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Deborah Katon, Maplewood, Missouri
Chicken Bone Necklace
Oh Chicken Bone
Oh Macrame
Oh say can you see
Oh Chicken bone
Oh bendy wire
You're just as cool can be!
Clasp Assembly: wire fashioned hook and eye clasp
Dollar Value: $320.00
Adjusted Judges Score: 1 out of 7
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Tracy Marie Johnson, Green Bay, Wisconsin
"Arctic Munchies"
I did not think i could bear
to see the guts of a polar bear
but i was really in the mood
for some blubbery arctic food
so my knife swish-swished
and i took what i wished
and then i ate his fish.
Clasp Assembly: tied into a knot
Dollar Value: Not given
Adjusted Judges Score: 1 out of 7
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P. Kay Hille-Hatten, Fremont, California
THE UGLY BEAD'S UGLY NECKLACE
WE ARE THE UGLY BEADS
WHO REALLY HAD SOME NEEDS
EVEN THOUGH IT WAS RECKLESS
WE LET OUT A ROAR TO GET OUT OF THE DRAWER
KNOW US NOW AS THE UGLY BEAD'S UGLY NECKLACE.
Clasp Assembly: Lobster claw/chain, meant to be worn in front
Dollar Value: $50.00
Adjusted Judges Score: 2 out of 7
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Miriam Hirsch, Jefferson, Louisiana
WOOF WOOF
Ya better be LARGE
and IN CHARGE
to wear ME.
Ya call ME ugly?
I'm that microcosm in
YOUR HEAD
made manifest.
Wear me well
or
I'LL WEAR YOU!
Clasp Assembly: (Not clear what the clasp assembly is from image sent)
Dollar Value: $100.00
Adjusted Judges Score: 1 out of 7
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Dianne Himler, Durham, North Carolina
Butterfly Garden
Mystical magical
Garden that brings
Damselfiles, dragonflies,
Shimmering things.
Butterflies flutter by
Bright as the spring,
Light as a ladybug
Taking to wing.
Showers of flowers
In colors that sing
Encircle my neck
With a bouquet of bling.
Clasp Assembly: Handcrafted wire-wrap hook & eye embellished with
a beaded wire butterfly.
Dollar Value: $20.00
Adjusted Judges Score: 1 out of 7
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Paulette Krajniak Gibbons, Pontiac, Michigan
While In My Room...
Another day has come and went
and I fall on my couch -- totally spent.
My head does hurt, my eyes are crossed
I think my cookies will soon be tossed.
The colors clash and the prisms don't shine
But I finished this necklace with jus' a 'lil wine.
The beads you see, I played with and mixed
In hopes this necklace wouldn't be nixed.
And as I lay looking at this ugly bling
I think maybe the 60's weren't such a bad thing.
Clasp Assembly: Peace Pipe Clay fashioned into a hook and eye clasp
Dollar Value: $200.00
Adjusted Judges Score: 1 out of 7
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Merry Glover, Topeka, Kansas
"JINGLE GLOW BLING"
Dashing through the house,
Looking for ugly things
I came upon some ornaments
That seemed to have some dings.
The three deer just lay there
Looking up at me
How could I deny their rightful place?
ANd in the future show my face?
Think Ugly I must do
While function this must have
To glow and ring while caroling
What fun this necklace is!
Here I go, Ugly GLOW
This must light the way!
Function is as function does
Glow and Jingle while I play!
Clasp Assembly: large snap swivel
Dollar Value: $9.98 (how do you put an amount on UGLY?)
Adjusted Judges Score: 1 out of 7
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LouAnn Elwell, Cobden, Illinois
The Mad Lampworker's Nightmare Creation
(and Subsequent Waking)
Oh it is hard to be a truly talented lampworker;
even harder to make two beads that match perfectly.
If all is not just right, my bead breaks,
or it becomes a huge
lopsided
mess.
Maybe it is be-cause my hand shakes.
but I keep trying.
Clasp Assembly: lobster claw/choker clasp assembly
Dollar Value: $150.00
Adjusted Judges Score: 3 out of 7
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Eleanor Elkin, Newton, Massachusetts
NOW AN UGLY PENDANT NECKLACE
A Haiku
WOVEN ON A LOOM
WAS MEANT TO BE BEAUTIFUL
OY WHAT A FAILURE
Clasp Assembly: Lobster Claw w/ring
Dollar Value: $100.00
Adjusted Judges Score: 1 out of 7
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Sylvia Dacus, Memphis, Tennessee
MOTH EATEN
The world we live in is a dangerous place
Where cheating fate is a downhill race.
Good luck jewelry may help you survive,
So wear this jewel to stay alive!
This necklace was made to glorify
The worstest way there is to die..
Forget BROW BEATIN' or ELEPHANT STAMPEDIN'
MONSTER MEETIN' or MARRIAGE CHEATIN'
Suffocating from OXYGEN DEPLETIN'
The dread TRICK OR TREATIN'...
GORILLA SEATIN' or GLOBAL HEATIN'
Even worse than VAMPIRE INDUCED NECK BLEEDIN'
No...the worstest way to die is...
MOTH EATEN
Look at this necklace and you'll see why!
Clasp Assembly: Gold tone lobster claw clasp hooking into a brass
grape cluster finding with pearls
Dollar Value: It's hard to put a dollar value on such a lovely work
of art but the components total about $30.00
Adjusted Judges Score: 3 out of 7
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Nick DeFord, Mesa, Arizona
yellow
It slithered out of the specturm like the
skeleton flaky suit shed from a rattlesnake -
and then the scream is mine as it curls
aound my slender neck and whipsers:
I am thickened hog lard, left out in the sun,
hardened from teh shimmering rays of
daylight, I am sequins and glitter and the warm
secretion that oozes out of thrumming honeycombs;
I am big blonde wigs and Post-It notes,
toenail clippings in the bathroom corners and old news;
I am the pustule sickening whiskey ochre
of Prometheus's liver, and I am also that golden
beak that rends it from his ribcage and
I am cigarette stained decaying teeth that
fall out the petal mane of a gluttonous dandelion;
I am the desrt sands and the dirty rubber band that binds
together chewed-up #2 test pencils;
...I creep from traffic light to traffic light, coming closer
coming to find you -- all the way from your own sun
never truly yielding, never quiet, and always always, always,
Clasp Assembly: Large metal latch and ring
Dollar Value: $49.00
Adjusted Judges Score: 2 out of 7
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Genevive Davis, New York, New York
"When the Glow Begins to Fade"
Tummy in a tangle?
life in disarray?
Just give yourself an enema,
And clear it all away.
Clasp Assembly: Enema Clasps
Dollar Value: $30.00
Adjusted Judges Score: 3 out of 7
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Kathleen Dunn, Oswego, New York
Ode to Ugly
I'm not a poet and I know it
This is a challenge which exceeds
Using everything -- including beads
UGLY is really hard to do
But I did my best for you
My piece has many functions
A pacifier and hair clips are part of the construction
I hope I met all the rules
if not, that gives me the blues
Take a look and see
If "ugly" was made by me
Clasp Assembly: 2 lanyard clasps
Dollar Value: There is no value -- no need for any insurance.
Adjusted Judges Score: 1 out of 7
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Tisa Coen, Richmond, Missouri
Ugly Necklace Tree
by Shirley Thomas Coen
My daughter makes beautiful things.
We sell them on the square.
Bracelets, earrings and necklaces, neat and sweet.
I'm proud to display them there.
But then, last fall something lurked among them all!
It was big and clunky, bold and chunky,
Gaudy, yes, and way too funky!
Among her dainty fall line, this "thing" it did creep.
Poor acorn necklace ugly as can be,
I will close my eyes and plant you deep
While I watch the poor squirrels flee
And pray we see no ugly necklace tree!
Clasp Assembly: Spring Ring
Dollar Value: $15.00
Adjusted Judges Score: 1 out of 7
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Susanne B. Bittner, Elbert, Colorado
Who Would Have Known
What Truely Was I Thinking?
This must have been made after Drinking?
Who would have known,
That this thing made of stone,
Would come out rather Stinking!
Clasp Assembly: Barrel Clasp
Dollar Value: Not given
Adjusted Judges Score: 1 out of 7
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Marlene Brady, Sun City West, Arizona
Ugly Necklace Warning!
At first they glance, then they stare.
What the heck is that?
You look ready for comat.
That necklace is so ugly, they declare!
Twisted ugly faces on twisted wire! Oh, it's ugly!
Dangles yet? Unglued glue? What is all that?
Further they query "and from where was it begat?"
I reply to this silly question quite smugly.
This ugly necklace gives me vent.
I can display what I cannot say.
You, the viewer must endure today,
Because I'm hell bent in my intent.
Clasp Assembly: Handcrafted polymer clay face, and wire
loop as toggle
Dollar Value: $25.00
Adjusted Judges Score: 3 out of 7
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Barbara Bialick, Newton, Massachusetts
Staving Poet's Charm Necklace
Just like on the shopping channels,
This necklace is on trend,
Because hideous charm-type necklaces
Arer big now, glamorous friend.
Turquoise shavers, and matching bracelets
Are always right to me.
So are "click-it" pens and chartreuse paper,
Don't you see?
This necklace is my cup of tea!
Clasp Assembly: Lobster Claw
Dollar Value: $10.00
Adjusted Judges Score: 2 out of 7
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