Emergence
"As
she turns towards me, her hands no longer seem familiar;
her face, once recognizable, now unexpected;
her aura, a palette of changed colors,
I want to share, but can't all at once.
She is transforming, before my eyes, as if I wished it to happen,
for whatever reason -- fun, mundane or sinister -- I'm not sure.
But as she moves and evolves, a special insight occurs to me,
so I name her... "
A mermaid: most comfortable in the deepest corners of the sea. Alone in
a darkness of her own creation, she has lured countless unwitting sailors
to their deaths in her desire for companionship, again and again feeling
the loss of them as they lie silently in her arms. Always seeking the
shadows, singing her ancient song of desire and despair, weeping silent
salt tears that are lost and carried away on slow tides to the farthest
shores of the ocean. How she got down here, she cannot remember...it happened
so slowly, so subtly that she didn't notice until it was far too late.
Her loneliness
has driven her, at last, to seek something more, something brighter. She
has begun, at last, to rise from the heavy depths to new heights. It is
slow going. She must stop frequently to become accustomed to the changes
in pressure, and let her lungs and heart expand as she travels through
new waters. The scenery here is foreign to her, and with every thrust
of her sinuous, jeweled tail, her world grows brighter and more boundless.
Without knowing it, she is swimming for the sun. Swimming to the surface,
to breathe salt air and explore a new life, a new world.
This
journey is not without its dangers. She loses her breath when she rises
too quickly, and frequently finds herself in territory so alien, so foreign
to her experience that she hesitates, and nearly turns back, yearning
for the safety of her favorite sea-floor cave. Her desire to grow is more
urgent though, more pressing...and deep in her heart she knows that her
truest desire -- to love and be loved -- can only be fulfilled in brighter
waters, where the only shadows are of ships as they pass, distant and
fleeting.
Her opulent
tail tells the story of her transformation -- from the dark places of
the sea floor, she has travelled, through changing pressure and changing
seascapes, through the places where currents meet and clash in silent
warfare without rippling the surface, and finally to the warmer, lighter
surface waters. Her spiral markings are new to her... symbols of growth
and change and cycles. There are no barriers to impede her now, she can
come and go between the surface and the cold depths as she chooses. She
chooses to go to the dark places less and less now, but she will always
carry their mark on her shimmering scales. Rather, she now spends her
days basking on wave-smoothed rocks, just out of sight of the shore, and
dancing in the water with playful seals and friendly dolphins.
Legendary
tales of mermaids abound in cultures throughout the world. She is an ancient
archetype... emotions given feminine form. Both alluring and deadly, playful
and sinister, the mermaid appears as seductress, salvation, hunter and
prey. An object of desire, and inspiration, humanity is at once fascinated
and repelled by her, just as we are enthralled and terrified by our own
emotions.
Who among
us hasn't felt the fear of the depths -- of losing ourselves in the tides
of our emotions, or drowning someone else with the weight of our pain?
Swimming in despair, not knowing if we would ever see the light dancing
on the surface again? Emergence is a study of that journey, a talisman
against depression, and a gentle reminder that the sun is still there,
even when the shadows seem darkest. Her story is the story of everyone
that has surfaced from our own darkness, fought against drowning in the
shadowed parts of our emotional depths.
Water
has long been a powerful symbol of human emotion. We are drawn to it,
and cannot survive without it, yet we instinctively fear what we may find
in its shadows. Many of its secrets are hidden from our eyes, and try
as we will to understand it, even our most advanced technology can only
scratch the surface.
Water,
like emotion, fills us and becomes us, affecting our bodies in measurable
ways, spilling over our edges and into everyting we touch. Depression
is the dark side of water... the shadowy deep where Emergence begins her
journey. The weight of the world presses in, paralyzes us, and it seems
as though nothing within us can ever break free. Emergence is a tribute
to that silent struggle, and a promise that it is possible to rise from
those depths.
Emergence
is constructed of bead embroidery over a soft-sculpture base. Her pose
was inspired by her upward journey, as well as by countrless images of
goddesses and women of power reaching upward, drawing energy from a source
outside of themselves. The base fabric 100% cotton, coated with sparkling
gold glitter on one side. The glittered side of the fabric was turned
to the inside surface of the doll, a subtlety, to be sure, but symbolic
of a deepter truth... we all hold internal treasures that none will ever
see, save the hand that created us. After being painstakingly stitched
and stuffed, she was given a gcoat of acrylic paint to set a backdrop
for the heavy bead embroidery that was then applied.
I felt
it important, for her and I to be authentic in her journey, to start where
she started. I began the beadwork towards the bottom of her tail, near
the flukes, and worked upward. From time to time, I floated upward, and
worked higher on the tail, sketching in transitions and giving myself
a break from the pressure of the depths. Still, the work was exceuted
in line with the themes of the doll: emerging from darkness, transformation,
upward progress and travelling "into the light".
I felt
that she should have delicate, meditative features, to reflect her new-found
sense of peace. Her beautiful face was created by polymer clay artist
Kristen Barrick. Her facial tattoos, peaceful closed eys and serene, pleased
smile are all handpainted.
Her gleaming
shell brassiere is built around a pair of vintage Czechoslavakian glass
beads.
The beads
that cover her tail and body, and make up her flowing hair are a kaleidescope
of Czech straight and branched (or coral) fringes, and bears the same
shading as her tail... from the deepest purples and blacks at the nape
of her neck, to softer seafoam greens and bright aquas around her face.
As a final touch, she wears a small crown of five pure white cultured
pearls, which reflects the clarity of her intuition and the renewal of
her spirit.
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Side Image
Back Image
Detailed Image
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List of Materials
and Techniques Employed
Dimensions:
Approximately 10"H x 5"W x 1.5" D(without stand)
Techniques:
Soft sculpture, painting, bead embroidery, beaded fringe
Materials
List:
Glass seed beads
Pressed glass
beads
Freshwater pearls
Cotton fabric
Acrylic paint
Polyester fiberfill
Polymer clay
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